Round Museum

A big coffee and a bigger cinnamon bun in the morning and you've got some work to do. Because unwinding this spiral pastry is a labor of love that can't be set aside till later, there's this delicious, sweet center to be eaten. Quit slacking off, this is the best part!

11.13.19

Back when you could smoke in a bar, an accidental burn hole in the stool cover was a potential risk depending on your facility with a butt or your ability to hold your liquor. Or both.

11.12.19

Sprinkle a little superabsorbent polyacrylamide slush powder on a watery situation and pretty quickly the problem will be all plumped up.

11.09.19

Just so you are aware, by parking your own car, you agree that the management is leasing you space and is not a bailee of your automobile or its contents and is not responsible for any loss or damage by fire, theft, or any other cause to your automobile or any part thereof, or the contents of your automobile. In perpetuity. For as long as we both shall live. Amen.

11.08.19

Every living room ambiance would be greatly enhanced with a giant turf ball on a pedestal. A Kentucky Bluegrass ball would give you a classic dark green medium leaf texture, while a Fine Fescue is more delicate and soft. Centipede grass doesn't include actual centipedes, and that's probably a good thing.

11.04.19

Do you feel refreshed this morning? With daylight savings time ending overnight, don't spend that hour you gained too casually. Sure, you could sleep in a bit longer, but then it's gone. Put time in your pocket to save for later. When you're running late at the mall, just whip that hour out -- "Hey, it's not 5:23, it's only 4:23! Not late after all!" Time is now on your side. Yes it is.

11.03.19

Raindrops may be falling on your head, but if you look closely at what's reflected inside you'd have to stand on your head to read it. A water droplet is spherical and acts like a camera lens, refracting light so that the image is inverted. Weird thing is, your eye is a spherical lens too, so the inverted image raindrop you're looking at is actually the way your eye always "sees" things -- inverted. It's just your brain that makes it all better.

11.02.19

Somewhere within this rainbow Round is the toothpick for you. Red for your party tray full of cocktail wieners? Blue for that little chunk of beef stuck between your lower 30 and 31 molars? Green for that craft project with popsicle sticks and pipe cleaners? Or maybe a yellow for the corn on the cob that can't escape your smile? We've got you covered.

11.01.19

It's that scary time of year again. No, not Tax Day, silly! Halloween! There's only one day before packs of ghouls may be scratching at your door. So, hopefully you've stocked up the candy bowl, drenched your front door in cobwebs, and hung a string of Jack-O'-Lantern lanterns.

10.30.19

If you feel like you're being watched... you are. From across the aisle a bloodshot googly-eyed stare is tracking your every move. For $12.99 you could take the whole scary string of them home with you.

10.29.19