Round Museum

Apparently these LPs are doing some hard time, banished behind bars. We don't know the crimes, if any. Poor sales? Felony songwriting? May simply be a matter of the wrong place at the wrong time. Where can a vinyl Round get a fair hearing in a digital world? DJ, rock the house!

01.18.22

Viewed through this crystal Round, an overcast day makes the leafless tree line outside the patio windows seem like a ghostly rank of soldiers, who happen to be standing on their heads in an optical inversion.

01.16.22

That’s kind of a huge unsightly pizza bubble you have there. Sure, sugar and yeast fermentation is bound to produce carbon dioxide, but that’s a virtual planetoid on your homemade crust. Did you coat your dough balls in oil? Were they warmed up properly before you rolled them out?

01.15.22

Uncut curls gave you confidence and power. Feats of strength amazed your friends. But, sorry Samson, Dee told me your mullet needed to go, so snip snip snip!

01.14.22

Your cup of grits needs to come with the proper grit-to-butter ratio, or you may have to talk to the manager. This is not something determined precisely by the teaspoon or... measuring cup, but more subjectively by eye. What does this look like, sir, are these grits wading in the baby pool or swimming in the deep end? How about drowning? Are my grits drowning yet? Yeah, well they better be. A grit can absorb a lot and these babies are gonna be dry in a minute. You watch.

01.13.22

Don't be alarmed by the eerie green glow, this elevator is fully operational. Just press the button for the penthouse suite and put this plot in motion. Don't look at that vent above your head, it merely allows for air flow in case of any emergency. It is also how our agents will deliver the knock-out gas and steal the briefcase of diamonds from you. You are getting sleepy, very very sleepy.

01.12.22

Oooooo, man, you shouldn’t have left that glass of water sitting on the end table. You ever heard of a coaster? Mom will be not be happy.

01.11.22

A little orange spot of spray paint has appeared on the sidewalk, part of a breadcrumb trail of lines, dots and squiggles extending down the block. Is this marking the underground infrastructure? A map guiding you somewhere? Is this the end or the beginning?

01.10.22

Did you overdo it last night? You bugaloo till two? A little carbonated effervescence will sooth your grumbly tummy. Oh what a relief!

01.09.22

It is sometimes said 'never look back' but maybe 'never look backward' is more appropriate.

01.08.22